Remember that can of soda you let your kid drink at that birthday party last week and felt guilty about for the rest of the day? No biggie compared to this party.
Anyway, no matter what your past sugar-related parenting transgressions, get ready to feel like the most virtuous mom ever. Believe me, compared to Donna, mom of 5-year-old Derek from the season premiere of TLC’s Outrageous Kid Parties, you’re as wholesome as Ma Ingalls!
See, the preschool graduation party Donna threw for Derek had a theme: “Candy Fantasy.”
What it didn’t have: A budget. Little Derek supposedly has a wicked sweet tooth — the words “sugar” and “addict” have been thrown around, that’s all I’m gonna say. So why not spend over $1K on candy alone for his graduation extravaganza? (Wait, when did people start having “preschool graduation parties”?)
A mountain of saliva-inducing treats was only the beginning for Donna, though. Her costume for the party, “Willy Wonka’s Mother” (I don’t think he actually had a mother), required $850 worth of services from a makeup artist. Naturally.
Not that Donna would allow her own child to be outdone. Derek made his grand entrance to the party on the shoulders of “Oompa Loompas” (damn, I hope they got paid as well as the make up artist for that gig). Donna even commissioned a special song just for her son’s special day (another $1,500).
The cost of a corn syrup-soaked shindig for your preschool grad? A kajillion dollars. The happy memories of a crowd of kids in various stages of sugar high/withdrawal going absolutely bonkers, not to mention the venomous stares of their dental bill-paying parents? Priceless.